What if I stop?
Stop chasing experiences. Stop calling friends that never call back. Stop trying to keep life interesting, stop keeping active.
Just allowing life to happen the way it happens.
Will friends disappear? Will I become a boring piece of furniture, forgotten and unloved?
What will happen?
How far can you push yourself?
How far can you go in living up to other people’s expectations? How long until you have no other choice but to disappoint them.
Maybe just stop trying to be somebody?
Better is the enemy of good.
I will never be understood.
I walk alone in a world of connections, savouring the experience of everything.
Understanding is a fiction we long for, just like we strive for money to feel safe.
There are actions to be taken, but none of them will change who I am.
None of them will make anyone understand.
As long as I strive to be understood, I will be a slave to my mind.
Is there too much to do?
Or just a desire to do it all to gain something hard to define?
What happens if you just stop. No doing. Nothing. Sit still. Do nothing.
Will you start moving again before you realize you did?
The eagles cross the sky with fierce aggressive flaps of their wings
To conquer life, where it all begins
Hurry, don’t miss out. You do not want to be the last one standing
when the snow come landing.
Stuck is a concept. Not an actuality.
Being stuck means that you want to get somewhere in the future and not go with they it is.
Discipline is often confused with forced behavior.
But you would not call a hungry man that eats disciplined. He just eats. Because not doing so would become increasingly unbearable.
In the same way, a disciplined man doesn’t force himself. He just responds effortlessly to an urge from within.
I am waiting.
Waiting for my mind to get so bored, that I will have to act.
But what if my ability to stand boredom is infinite.
What then?
Am I just going to sit here and wait?
Slowly withering away and leave, at best, a mark on my chair.
Maybe this waiting, for action to take place. Is just another strategy to postpone things.
Leave it for tomorrow.
It is like there are two worlds out there.
I recognize them both, but one of them feels like a distant dream. A mere shadow of everything else.
I acknowledge the fact that not everyone wants to live in both of these worlds.
But still, it baffles me.
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